I almost quit in 2023
When my daughter was ready for school, I was determined to find a nurturing experience for her. I searched for a school where she would be affirmed and loved for all of who she is.
But that school didn’t exist.
I toured many different programs and was mortified by what I saw in early childhood education. The entire system is rooted in misogyny and exploitation. The workforce, 97% women, made an average of $14/hour in extremely challenging teaching roles. The conditions made it near impossible to embrace equity.
- What would an early childhood program rooted in embracing equity look like?
- How would it be built?
- How would it function?
- What infrastructure is required to integrate a DEI strategy from the inside out?
My good friend Esther, an Indigenous Montessori teacher from Zuni, and I started dreaming our wildest hopes into a plan. The plan started to take shape and we decided to start a tiny, one room classroom in rural Texas. Esther and I both relocated to the area, pulled all-nighters doing renovations, writing lesson plans, and building out the pilot program. But at the end of the day, we learned that it takes more than two dedicated teachers. A school must be the heartbeat of a community. Without systemic support, an individual school cannot thrive.
Through blood, sweat, and a lot of tears, we deteriorated our mental and physical health. We were both diagnosed with severe depression and for 3 months I thought I had cancer.
Although the school was only open for 8 months, it was a life-changing and extremely valuable learning experience (I’ll share more soon). I’m not fully recovered yet but I am proud that we preserved our friendship and, in the end, we chose our wholeness and well being. That choice represents so much healing. It represents no longer being governed by self-sacrificing reactions. It means that as educators and as women of color we get to be affirmed in our full humanity, too.
It was during this time, in the thick of feeling so much shame, guilt, and sorrow that I thought about quitting. Quitting it all, if I’m honest.
After the school closed, I went on a 4 week sabbatical where I received crisis mental health care. I finally had the biopsy procedure on my eye and was relieved that it was not cancer, as my doctor suspected. It was toxic stress. The body always keeps the score.
With the support of the Embracing Equity team, I know that while I love my work, I am not my work. I am more than what I can produce. And if I’m truly embracing equity, then I need to build a healthy and sustainable lifestyle that allows me to be whole. I’m definitely not there and much like anti-racism: it’s not a destination, it’s a lifelong journey.
Our upcoming webinar on January 17th is all about this topic of “Burning Bright, Staying Strong: Sustaining Leaders of Color in the Social Impact Field.” Dr. Evans and I will have a candid conversation with our guest speakers, Lorry Henderson and Malaika Eban, about the challenges faced by Leaders of Color in social impact, social justice work. We’ll dive into proven strategies to sustain and retain dynamic leaders, prevent burnout, and foster long-term success.
FREE 30 MIN COACHING SESSION WITH DR. EVANS
I’m really grateful to be here ushering in 2024 with you. I don’t take it for granted. And I know that while the work to fight oppression is tough, self-sacrificing our health and well-being is not the path toward liberation. We deserve softness, ease, and joy. That’s what I wish for you and me in 2024.
With so much love,
Daisy
P.S.: Register here to join the Jan 17th live webinar or get the recording after! I’m so looking forward to being in community.
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